CONTENT WARNING: This article discusses issues of sexual assault, rape, and other forms of violence that may be disturbing to some. Reader discretion is advised.
In late 2019, a new sub-community emerged on the internet: BookTok. The group was primarily based on TikTok, but has also made its way onto other platforms such as Instagram, Pinterest, YouTube, and Facebook under other names. BookTok’s members create and interact with short form video content that reviews and discusses books, or gives recommendations for other prospective readers. The popularity of this community was in response to the COVID-19 pandemic, as people were stuck at home and not working as much, they were in need of new ways to pass time on their own.
Reading was a great way to amend this issue, as books could easily be ordered online through retailers like Amazon, Indigo, Barnes and Noble, or Waterstones. E-reader companies like Kobo and Kindle have also made access to books easier through electronic means.
Even before the COVID-19 pandemic, women have always been more drawn to the romance genre. This can be seen through the popularity of classic authors such as Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters, all the way to contemporary romance writers like Nora Roberts and Danielle Steele. This genre offers happy endings, entertaining romantic plotlines, and exploration of relationships not everyone gets to experience in real life. Women are placed at the centre of the plot, with emphasis on their issues and needs.
In the past six years, specific trends have emerged from BookTok and similar online communities . Romance is a very broad genre, and with that some specific niches or sub-genres have emerged. Some of these sub-genres include romantasy, a blend of romance and fantasy; sports related romances, featuring hockey and football players alike; historical romances that can take the reader back in time; and romantic comedies, a time old classic. These genres are not mutually exclusive, and overlap can be found in the most odd places. A perfect example of this is Lia Riley’s “Puck and Prejudice,” where a hockey player accidentally travels back in time and falls in love with a woman from the Regency era. Some authors take a satirical twist on romance, especially in Chuck Tingle’s “Space Raptor Butt Invasion” and “Slammed in the Butthole by my Concept of Linear Time,” where I think these titles require no further elaboration. However, there is one genre that has captivated a wide audience, for better or for worse: dark romance.
This genre sparked the dimming of my laptop screen in public while writing this article as the topics explored in these books can be perceived as controversial or even triggering by a variety of audiences. Unfortunately, a large focus of this genre is unconsensual sex. A significant part of the intrigue of this genre is the depiction of erotic violence that often pushes and crosses lines of consent, exploring sexual themes that are generally viewed as taboo. The actions taken by the characters in these books are often described as “morally grey,” despite portraying distinctly abusive and unhealthy relationships.
One popular example of a dark romance book is “Haunting Adeline,” written by H.D. Carlton. This book means to justify its ‘morally grey’ male love interest, Zade, by having him hunt down and kill pedophiles in his spare time while simultaneously stalking and sexually assaulting the female lead, Adeline. Without having read the book, I cannot offer a proper review, but I will let some various Goodreads reviews speak for themselves:
One-star review: “YOU CANT HAVE HIM SAVE RAPE SURVIVORS AND THEN RAPE [THE] MAIN CHARACTER [WITH A GUN]?!”
Three-star review: “The feminist in me knows I should hate [Zade] for how toxic and possessive on another level he is (and how he doesn’t take fucking no for an answer). [...] BUT, the horny and ‘in love with morally grey and fucked up characters’ [in] me, absolutely loves him.”
Five-star review: “[B]ut my goodness where is my man who will stalk me, cut others tongues out for speaking ill of me, for chopping hands that touched me, and give me the best sex ever?!”
Reviews about this book are dramatically polarized, and there is a large middle ground of opinion. Either you were in love with Zade, or wanted some other vigilante to end his life. One thing is clear, however: people do understand that this fascination with abusive relationships is something worth calling anti-feminist and is working against the best interests of women. However, there are still large communities of people who dedicate themselves to these questionably described ‘morally grey’ characters while acknowledging this. This disclaimer put forth by many dark romance readers in which they state they understand these books are anti-feminist is very performative at its core, and does effectively nothing but save them from minor social backlash in the form of a hate comment on TikTok or Instagram.
Portraying these fantasies as desirable might not be as harmful to a woman in her late 20s and beyond with lots of experience in relationships, but to younger audiences who are watching this content on TikTok, it is. Young girls will see videos of women speaking about how such fantasies are ‘liberating’ — despite often putting control of the situation into the hands of men — which encourages them to read these books and seek out these sexual relationships. I am not here to call for a complete ban on all erotica for anyone below the age of majority, because quite frankly that is not realistic. However, when these relationships are presented as desirable, there will be people seeking them out. This can put vulnerable people into potentially abusive relationships, or expose them to sex early on before understanding the risks associated with it.
A blog post by The Reading Nook on Substack illustrates another concern about this community quite well, stating:
“If Booktok was solely a community of men talking about their kinks in public, and telling each other to read x, y, z because they were able to ‘read it with one hand’ while simultaneously jerking off to it, you would all be calling the police. You don’t and never have accepted this level of sexual freedom for the opposite gender”.
There is very wide toleration for the actions being put forth by this internet community, and The Reading Nook is quite correct in saying that this behaviour would never be tolerated if it was coming from a community that was predominantly male. I have seen a rise in content on social media looking at ‘incel culture’ and fringe groups of young men online who garner hatred towards women and express violence towards the opposite sex, but I scarcely see the same content focusing on how women have been condoning violent behaviour when they find it attractive.
A big issue with this glamorization of non-consensual relationships is that it is signaling to people that consent might not always be necessary. A breach of consent is never appropriate, but when you have groups of people online fetishizing such violations, what consequences might emerge?
The portrayal of violent themes in dark romance books also lacks a significant amount of information that explains how to go about more intense sex practices safely. In a video posted by Instagram creator @andrea_reads_alot, she captions the video “when asking your husband to act out a scene from one of your dark romance books goes wrong.” In this video, her husband grabs her by the neck and lifts her up against the wall. After he puts her down, her face is visibly red, she is out of breath, and she says “don’t actually choke me.” Desirable depictions of behaviour such as choking in sexual situations can often be misconceived, such as it was in this case.
Neither Andrea nor her husband seemed to understand how to safely go about this desire, because Andrea had only read it in a book that glamourized it, which resulted in her being harmed unintentionally. This can be taken as a relatively mild example of what can happen as a result of the actions portrayed in these books, but what is happening that is not being posted on the internet for people to see? Sex is a natural thing, but a lack of guidance on how to step into more intense activities can be dangerous and even frightening for some individuals.
Another example of a dark romance novel is “Take Me With You” by Nina G. Jones. The book is essentially about a man who stalks and sexually assaults women at night, but eventually becomes obsessed with the female lead and kidnaps her because she is ‘different’ from the other women he has harmed in the past. These Goodreads reviews offer a variety of perspectives on the book:
One-star review: “I still can’t get over the fact that the so called hero had been raping women for years. How can you fall in love with someone like that?”
Three-star review: “No. I didn't really enjoy it. Not because of how fucked up the book actually is. But because it definitely failed to keep me engrossed.”
Five-star review: “If you don’t like things pertaining to Stockholm syndrome, forced sex and manipulation, starvation, humiliation etc..this book IS NOT for you. If you have an open mind in your reading though, and want something totally different then this might be for you.”
The fact that the three-star review is more concerned with the style of the writing, not the fact that the male love interest is a stalker and a rapist, reflects a disconnect with the severity of what these readers are consuming. Exposing themselves to so much graphic content strips away the severity of the crimes being committed. For some reason, the book is only less enjoyable not because of the subject matter, but because the author lacked a certain.
The five-star review dances around the severity of what actually occurs in this book. They say forced sex — which is a dark romance reader’s way of avoiding the word rape — as a means of watering down the violent content compiled within the pages of this book. It treats severe traumas as trivial preferences, like pizza toppings or ice cream flavours. Just like how not everyone likes pineapple on pizza, you might not really like to read books where Stockholm syndrome is romanticized.
The actions by this community are not by any means intended to be deeply harmful. But, what began as simple sexual desires has turned into an inclination for unhealthy and even illegal practices. Banning this form of literature would also not be so easy, so instead people need to have more conversations about the impact of what they read. Even a seemingly silly hockey player romance can be looked at with a critical eye, and can allow you to better examine whether or not your preferences are being shaped in a positive way.
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